


Centuries

by doctortrekkie



Series: Break Me Down and Build Me Up [16]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: (stupid 100 character tag limit), Cheve Plotline Continues, Feels, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hati can Smell another horse on Leo and flip his lid, Hati flips mane “I’m here peasants”, Hurt/Comfort, I’m sorry, Jealousy, Leo is high-key jealous, Leo says he is not jealous, Mentioned Character Death, Nothing you say will convince me otherwise, Sadness everywhere, Silas is too pure, does quoting a Laslow support in the description count as, he’s only been mentioned eight bazillion times in this series, his first appearance in the BMDaBMU Fatesverse?, i guess?, let's just get that tag in there for Leo and Hati both, look a wild Silas finally appeared, once more we're ignoring Corrin canonically not remembering Silas, purely because I Don't Like It, why do I have to kill my creations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-10-27 18:06:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20764673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctortrekkie/pseuds/doctortrekkie
Summary: They were both remarkable warriors… Both were serious and devoted. Their every action weighed and considered… I always thought I would have them at my side even after ascending the throne… They fell in battle at the hands of powerful Hoshidan soldiers. We were outnumbered. They both gave their lives to protect me.It’s easy to say they died fulfilling their duty.In which two soldiers, worlds apart in rank and experiences, find themselves drawn together by the mutuality of grief.And in which Nohr must swiftly rise to answer the gauntlet that has been jointly thrown by Cheve and Hoshido both.(Takes place a year and a half before the beginning of Fates and a week afterHero;January 635)





	Centuries

_ Some legends are told, some turn to dust or to gold, but you will remember me, remember me for centuries, and just one mistake is all it will take, we’ll go down in history, remember me for centuries… _

**Northern Fortress, outside Windmire, Nohr**

_ “This,”  _ Leo said, crossing his arms and ignoring the smarting of his toes, “is utterly ridiculous.”

Hati did not seem to think he was being ridiculous, judging by the way he kept his ears pinned and stamped his hoof once more as if to say  _ Put your foot there again, I dare you. _

“I’ve seen spouses less jealous than you,” Leo told him. “But unless you’ve decided to sprout wings when I wasn’t looking, last I checked you couldn’t get to Cheve in less than a day.”

Hati swung his head away, pointedly staring at a crack in the boards of his stall.

“Look, flying wasn’t any more fun for me than staying behind was for you,” Leo pointed out. “Which is part of the reason I didn’t fly back.”

The prince reached for his mount’s girth and was rewarded with a head swinging around so fast it blurred, teeth clacking together half an inch from his arm.

_ “At which point  _ I rode Skoll back to Windmire because Xander  _ did  _ fly and gods know he wasn’t going to trust some kid soldier with his horse for three days,” Leo continued. “How audacious of me to be practical. Do you want the saddle off or not?”

Hati twitched his lips twice before finally lowering his head and blowing out a sigh.

_ “Thank  _ you,” Leo said primly. “And I would like to point out while we’re on the topic that Skoll was far more congenial about the situation than you are being. Perhaps I should have simply taken him today.”

Hati pinned his ears again at that but thankfully made no move to retaliate.

With the grating of wood on stone, the watery light of not-long past dawn broke into the stable. “Leo?”

“Corrin?” he called back, setting down his saddle and slipping out of the stall. Across the aisle, Corrin’s own mount, Misty, poked her head out and whickered a greeting to her mistress.

As she came into view, Corrin gave Misty an absent pat in return, then quickly returned to holding an oversized coat that looked as though it might have once belonged to Xander tighter around herself. The thin, laced edges of her nightgown poked out under the bottom of the coat and met with a pair of tall woolen socks. “Oh,  _ Leo,”  _ she whispered, surging across the last of the distance between them and flinging her arms around his neck.

Leo didn’t answer other than to grip her in return and to try not to let her sniffling break him.

He supposed that none of them had realized what a gap Xander’s retainers would leave in all of their lives until it was there looming before them. Of course it would be the hardest on Xander himself, but Asmund and Viola had been a presence in the royal family for so long that even the rest of the siblings had grown close as well; Corrin, too, from seeing them so often when Xander visited her fortress.

Leo had to quietly let out a shuddering sigh himself when Corrin finally pulled back, twisting her hands together. “How is he?” she whispered.

How to explain, Leo wondered, that Xander was so silent it felt as though he were screaming? How their brother’s grief could be  _ felt  _ so suffocatingly in the air of any room he entered? How could he tell her that and not destroy her?

“You know Xander,” Leo finally settled on. “The world itself could be ending and he wouldn’t let on to the rest of us.”

Corrin bit her lip and nodded. “Er…” she said after a pause. “Are you okay?”

It took Leo a moment to realize she was less likely to be referring to his mental health and more likely speaking of his bedraggled appearance—the streak of mud that ran from his left hip down past his knee, the tear in his coat over his shoulder on that same side, and the fact he was quite certain he hadn’t managed to fish every twig of the bush he’d landed in out of his hair. Leo turned red and coughed. “Yes, well.” He nodded toward Hati. “This one invented a fun new game to play today. I believe he dubbed it ‘See How High I Can Launch Leo.’ He’ll surely be the world champion inside the month.”

Hati snorted.

Leo, meanwhile, rolled his eyes. “He seems to think he has a right to hold a grudge since I left him behind.”

Hati snorted again.

“...And rode another horse in the meantime,” Leo added.

Corrin stifled a snicker in her hand before abruptly breaking off with a gasp. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing.”

“No, you really ought not to be laughing at your little brother’s misfortune regarding his overly vindictive mount,” Leo agreed.

Corrin’s face fell, grief clouding her features. “That’s not what I meant.”

_ Of course it wasn’t,  _ Leo realized, glancing away with pursed lips. Of course Corrin—Corrin, who wept at finding a deceased rodent in the cupboard, who wouldn’t read the end of a book if the plucky hero’s animal companion expired during the last pages, who was nowhere near as acquainted with death as the rest of her siblings were—would take far too hard the deaths of even the remotest of acquaintances in her tiny circle.

“Hey,” Leo said gently, laying a hand on Corrin’s shoulder once more. “I want you to think about something.”

“Yeah?”

Leo wondered as he spoke if he were truly talking to Corrin or somehow trying to channel into Xander the words he dared not speak aloud to him. “It’s okay to grieve,” he said. “But our lives do not have to end just because the lives of those we care about have ended.”

“I know,” Corrin said quickly. “I know that. It’s just…” She shook her head. “I just feel so bad for them.”

“I do too.”

After a long moment, Corrin shook her head. “And what of Father?” she asked.

Leo thought of the fact he hadn’t actually  _ seen  _ King Garon since his own second return from Cheve; of the company of Diabolan knights that had arrived in Windmire the evening prior and the other rapid-fire letters being sent in and out of military outposts all across Nohr. “Father is… preparing,” he finally said carefully. “For what, exactly… I don’t know yet.”

_ Would Garon subdue Cheve first or turn around and strike directly at Hoshido? _

_ And if it was the latter, what would that mean for the Hoshidan princess standing before him? _

“Though I suppose it won’t be long before we do,” Leo finished.

Corrin hadn’t had a chance to answer when the door of the stable creaked open again, bringing a blast of cold air and swirling snow with it. A horse and its dismounted rider stood in the doorway, rendered unrecognizable with the snow covering them.

The figure stepped through, seemingly muttering something muffled by the lumpily-knitted scarf covering their mouth and nose. The horse, meanwhile, shook itself, sending leather creaking and stirrups clanking until it had dropped its blanket of snow on the stone stable floor.

Leo recognized the horse a moment before the rider unwound his scarf to betray a familiar crooked smile.

“What a storm coming in, huh? I almost rode right past! Good morning, Lady Corrin; Lord Leo.”

Corrin’s mouth opened and closed three times before she could get a word out.  _ “Silas?”  _ she finally managed.

Silas’s smile turned into a full-blown grin. “Hey there, old friend. Long time, no see.”

Corrin clapped a hand to her mouth, smothering an incredulous laugh before charging across the distance between them.

Silas’s horse—a bay by the name of Catnap whose face was put together just unfortunately enough that it was only a matter of opinion whether he qualified as ugly or endearing—flung his head up. Silas himself, meanwhile, only let an “Oof!” as Corrin impacted him, followed by a chuckle.

Leo straightened up, affronted despite the fact he’d gotten an equally enthusiastic embrace not five minutes ago. That—and the fact that Corrin hadn’t seen Silas in gods only knew how many years—was entirely beside the point.

Abruptly, Corrin jerked back, her eyes wide with horror. “Should you be here?” she demanded. “Didn’t Father ban you from coming here?”

Silas rubbed the back of his neck, clicking his tongue to urge Catnap down the aisle. “Yeah, well,” he said. “Funnily enough, despite the fact that I spent my four years as a squire right under his nose, I don’t think His Majesty ever actually realized I was  _ your  _ Silas.”

“Er,” Leo cut in quickly as Silas made move to stow his mount in the stall next to Hati’s. “I probably wouldn’t—”

Hati finished the sentence for him, banging the wall with a volume that left Catnap hurtling backward with nostrils flared, nearly jerking the reins from Silas’s hands.

“...put him in that stall,” Leo said. “By the gods, Hati, if you just threw a shoe pulling that…”

“Sorry,” Silas said sheepishly, steering a still wide-eyed Catnap into stall across the aisle. “I forgot that Hati’s…”

“Particular,” Leo replied, rolling his eyes as he ducked back into his own horse’s stall. “You’ll learn. And by ‘learn’ I mean leave him to me ninety-nine percent of the time, except on the very rare exception of an occasion that I am somehow unavailable, in which case you  _ and  _ Niles will likely have to tag-team him.”

Content to discover that his horse had not, in fact, thrown a shoe, Leo straightened again, only to find Silas deliberately busying himself with Catnap’s bridle, his lips twisting into a frown.

Corrin, meanwhile, glanced between the two of them. “Wait,” she said. “Is that… official? Are you his retainer now?”

Though it was difficult to tell when his cheeks were still flushed from cold, Silas seemed to turn a little redder at that.

“Considering his assuming the position was merely dependant on his return to Windmire, I would dare to say yes,” Leo said, sliding the latch on Hati’s stall. Silas continued to remain silent at that, leaving Leo to continue, “Although you’ve returned a little sooner than I expected.”

Silas let out a soft sigh before saying lowly, “I wasn’t going to miss the funeral.”

“...Ah,” Leo said.

“Oh, gosh!” Corrin all but yelped. “Isn’t that today? What do you both think you’re doing  _ here?” _

“It’s not until this evening, Corrin,” Leo said. “We have time.”

“Oh,” Corrin said, then continued, “Oh! I’d better have Flora put on extra breakfast for you two!”

“There’s no need to do that for me, Lady Corrin, don’t the retainers usually eat with your servants?” Silas said.

Corrin crossed her arms, fixing him with a withering look. “Either you’re coming to eat with us or we’re coming to eat with you,” she said flatly.

A flicker of amusement crossed Silas’s face. “Well, I guess I know better than to argue with you.”

Corrin nodded sharply, then started for the door. “Don’t take too long!” she called back. “I’m not gonna wait for you if the food starts getting cold!”

After she left, Silas shook his head. “She hasn’t changed, has she?”

“Not as such,” Leo said.

A long silence dragged out. Finally, Silas brushed the last remnants of snow from Catnap’s coat and said, “I suppose it’s good I ran into you now. I need to discuss something with you.”

Immediately on wary alert, Leo asked, “Is something the matter?”

“I guess you could say that.” Silas clasped his hands together after he latched the stall behind him, his voice taking on a formal tone. “I regret to say that I have to decline the position as your retainer.”

Leo blinked, his jaw falling slightly slack as the words sunk in. “...I see,” he finally managed. “Well, I cannot say I’m not disappointed, but I suppose the decision is ultimately yours.”

“Thank you,” Silas said. “And I’m sorry. I was looking forward to it.”

“If I may ask,” Leo said, tilting his head slightly as the two headed for the stable door, “is there something the matter back at home?”

Silas shook his head. “No, no, nothing like that. It’s just… ah, I really should explain, but you’ll think me a fool.”

“Only if I find your reasoning to be foolish.”

Silas nodded, tugging his knitted hat further over his head as they stepped into the courtyard. “Asmund was like a second father to me,” he finally said in a low voice. “In the four years I served him he taught me a lifetime of wisdom. And now that he’s gone… I feel like I owe him for it.”

“How so?”

“Well… I imagine it will be a couple of months at least before Lord Xander takes on another retainer, won’t it? I mean, just trying to  _ find  _ someone of their caliber again could take ages…” Silas shrugged. “I just thought he might need help in the meantime.”

Leo couldn’t quite stop the affronted bristle that went through him and only barely managed to keep his voice level. “You intend to become my brother’s retainer instead?”

“What?” Silas said. “Oh, goodness, no. Nothing like that!” He let out an incredulous laugh. “The crown prince, taking on some green kid like me? You  _ do  _ remember I was just knighted less than a month ago, don’t you?”

Leo let out a breath through pursed lips, forcing himself to relax and ignore the feeling that said he’d just lost yet something else to Xander. “Enlighten me on your true intent, then.”

“I thought I could be…” Silas shrugged again. “Like his aide, or something? Just to fill in the gap until he does find another retainer or two. I mean, with the way things are in Cheve I imagine he’ll need  _ somebody…” _

“I take it you haven’t proposed the idea to him yet.”

“No,” Silas said. “I might, after the funeral today… Or I might wait a day or two. Depends on Lord Xander, I suppose.” He paused, then added, “Do you think he’d accept?”

It took Leo a long moment to answer. “I don’t know,” he finally said. “Xander hasn’t been…” He shook his head. “He’s not been himself, of late. You’ll understand when you see him. But if he does decline… I, at least, appreciate your sentiment.”

“Thank you,” Silas said warmly. “That means a lot from you.”

Leo nodded, a rush of relief hitting him as they entered the relative warmth of the Northern Fortress proper. “I suppose,” he said, “in a few months, when Xander does find a new retainer… I expect you’d still be welcome with me.”

“I don’t expect you to hold the position for me,” Silas said quickly. “I mean, you might find somebody else—”

“Niles has served me perfectly well by himself for quite a few years now,” Leo said. “I think he can handle a few more months.”

“...Thanks,” Silas said. “But really, don’t hold on my account. It’s my choice and I’ll live with the consequences.”

“All right,” Leo acquiesced. “But if it still  _ happens  _ to be available at that point…”

Silas grinned. “Sounds like a plan to me.” He squared his shoulders, took in a deep breath, then finished lightly, “Right, dunno about you, but I’m  _ starved.” _

~~~

**Castle Krakenburg, Windmire, Nohr**

Though the clock had hardly crept past eight o’clock in the evening, the words in front of Xander’s eyes were already swimming. Heavy head and heavy heart urged him to bed and the respite it offered from the waking world, even as the stack of work in front of him demanded his attentions.

Troop movements and numbers swirled before him, Nohrian and Chevois alike. Predictions were followed by solutions, modeled on the estimated forces and tactics of their most wayward territory. The soldiers they sent to Cheve would need blunt, fatal efficiency to carry out their task.

As Xander sketched out the beginnings of his umpteenth idea, a knock sounded on his door, so timid he almost missed it. The crown prince glanced up—who would be visiting him at this time on a day like this? Elise, perhaps?

“Come,” he said, his voice slightly hoarse.

It was a long moment for Xander’s door to finally swing open, a sheepish-looking knight in its opening.

“Silas,” Xander said, his eyes widening. “I hadn’t realized you had returned.”

“I only got in this morning,” Silas said. “And I didn’t really…” He trailed off, then finished, “Well, I kind of hung back at the funeral, so it’s not really a surprise you didn’t see me.”

_ The funeral.  _ Of course. Xander should have been more surprised if Silas  _ hadn’t  _ returned after four years of service to Asmund.

“Um,” Silas said, still standing awkwardly in the doorway. “Could I speak to you for a moment?”

“...Ah,” Xander said after a moment. “Of course. Do come in.”

Silas did so, though he only managed to end up hovering awkwardly a few feet from the corner of Xander’s desk. “I probably shouldn’t ask, but… are those battle plans?”

“Indeed,” Xander said, rubbing at his temple. “Silas, I would not speak of this to you if you were not beholden to my brother, but under the circumstances, I’m sure Leo would inform you within the next day or two anyway. We just received word that Chevois forces have taken the old border wall.”

Silas gave a strangled noise. “They’ve  _ what?  _ But I thought… wasn’t the attack on you by Hoshidan forces? Wouldn’t Cheve be trying to  _ distance  _ themselves from that?”

“Unless they believe there  _ is  _ no distancing themselves from it, and that their only hope is to take a preemptive strike,” Xander said. “From the time I spent with Governor Cybalt last summer, I can see the motivation.” He shook his head. “Now, though, we have no choice but to retaliate. Leo and Camilla will be heading the army there as soon as we can gather the numbers needed. Father has sent word to Duke Wilhelm to see if he might take the field along with them.”

“The duke of Diabola?” Silas asked, brows raising. “Wow, there’s a sight I’d like to see. I’ve always heard he’s an amazing fighter.”

“He was Father’s lieutenant when Cheve was first conquered twenty years ago,” Xander said. “Such intimate knowledge will prove incredibly useful. If he agrees it seems that is a sight you  _ will  _ be seeing.”

Silas glanced away. “I guess,” he finally said, “that if Lord Leo and Lady Camilla are going… then you’re probably not?”

After a beat, Xander shook his head. “It would seem not. And perhaps that is for the best.” He glanced up once more, continuing, “What was it you needed to speak to me of?”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Silas said, “You’re going to have to find new retainers at some point, aren’t you?” He cringed, then said, “Ah, sorry, Lord Xander, that was blunt.”

“Truthful, however,” Xander admitted. “And as much as I should hope to take my time on the matter… I fear necessity bids me not to tarry on the issue.”

“Well, that’s why I want to offer my services,” Silas said quickly. “I mean, not as your  _ retainer,  _ obviously, you could do a lot better than me when it comes to that, but just to… fill in? Until you find someone?” When Xander didn’t answer after a long moment, Silas sighed. “I didn’t explain that well, did I?”

“No, I believe you did,” the crown prince replied. “I just cannot understand your reasoning for making such an offer. You do realize the idea would openly conflict with your duties to Leo, don’t you?”

“Lord Leo’s agreed to it,” Silas said. “I spoke to him about it this morning.”

Xander shook his head. “Then I must ask again: why would you seek a position that would include all of the duties and none of the benefits or status as the one you were already offered?”

Silas didn’t answer right away. “It seems like the right thing to do,” he finally answered. “For… for  _ their  _ sakes.”

Xander let out a breath through pursed lips, Asmund and Viola’s faces flashing through his mind as they had an uncountable number of times in the past week. “Very well, then,” he finally said. “If that is what you wish, and Leo has agreed to it, you may report to me here at dawn tomorrow.”

“...Thank you,” Silas said, looking taken aback. “Thank you, milord.”

“I ought to be thanking you,” Xander admitted. “It will certainly make my search a little easier to not be wanting for a servant so terribly. However, I won’t ask you to begin tonight. If that was all you wished to say, you may be dismissed.”

“There actually was one more thing,” Silas ventured. “Just out of curiosity.”

“Yes?”

“What about their daughter?”

Xander thought of a little girl with her mother’s hair and her father’s eyes who couldn’t quite seem to wrap her head around the fact that her parents weren’t coming home.

“I mean,” Silas continued, “Neither Asmund nor Viola really had much in the way of family, and I was just wondering…”

“She will remain here, for now at least,” Xander said. “In the creche with the other servants’ children, as she was before. The only difference is that now, legally, she is my ward. She will remain my responsibility and under my care until such time as she either comes of age or until I find a family I deem suitable to legally adopt her.”

“I see,” Silas said. “I guess that makes sense.” The corner of his mouth twitched a little as he glanced away from Xander. “I might go see her sometime.”

“I think she’d like that,” Xander said.

A long silence dragged out in which he nearly wished Silas goodnight again before the knight blurted, “I just feel like I should’ve been there. When it happened. And, I mean, if it had happened two weeks earlier I  _ would’ve  _ been there… and maybe… maybe it would have changed something—”

“You mustn’t blame yourself, Silas,” Xander cut in. “We were vastly outnumbered. You are a talented soldier, but you would not have made a difference besides, in all likelihood, laying your own life down beside theirs. In the end… it is I who should be blamed, for my stubbornness and my hubris.”

Silas took in a slightly shuddering breath, wiping the back of his hand over his eyes as he nodded. “I don’t think they’d blame either of us, though,” he finally said. “Would they?” After a long moment, Xander shook his head.

“I suppose not.”

**Author's Note:**

> -You guys didn't really think I was going to have Silas steal Owain's spot in the Leo Trio (aka the best liege/retainer trio in the game, fight me) before the Scion of Legend himself even showed up, did you? (It's okay if you did, I promise I won't be mad)
> 
> -In all seriousness, this whole setup with Silas actually relates back to Peri, of all people. Let's face it: Peri... really doesn't make sense. In order to give her something resembling character development, I had to change a LOT of the backstory of how she comes into Xander's service--which had the interesting side effect of making her join the team AFTER Laslow. And since Laslow and Company aren't due to show up for a few more months at this point, poor Xander needed a fill-in for the meantime.
> 
> -Actually coming up with the plotline to maneuver Silas where I needed him took a little longer, though. Making him Asmund's squire solved two problems at once: putting him in a position of relative familiarity with Xander and giving him connections to the royal family besides his canonical friendship with Corrin. Interestingly enough, considering he mentions in his supports with Camilla he, at one point, had a crush on her, Silas now has some pretty solid connections to each of the Nohr sibs outside of Elise at this point in time.
> 
> -Brief note on Asmund and Viola that I probably could have mentioned before now but I forgot: their in-game classes would respectively be Great Knight (Asmund) and Hero (Viola); this was done as a deliberate gender-flip of Laslow and Peri's canonical promoted classes ("canonical" meaning "via Birthright").
> 
> -Xander's mention of a creche is actually something lifted from my old Dragonriders of Pern RP days (circa 2013 - about 2016 or maybe '17; if anyone from Vaioa Weyr randomly stumbles across this fic: hey guys, it's Puppet); in that universe, dragonriders were the equivalent of a military force, and in between their duties and their connections to their life-bonded dragons, they were heavily discouraged/unable to raise their own children, who were as such raised in a communal creche by servants. I figured royal retainers and some other high-ranking servants would likely have a similiar issue and thus a similiar solution.
> 
> -["Centuries"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vR18NP-acL4&list=PLD1aPrpW6AsAkbU5ic3UQKua8UabnpcL8&index=10) may seem like an oddly upbeat song for this fic and for Xander, but honestly the majority of the reason I picked it is for the lines used in the introduction. (Also, there's a very neat little bit of unintentional foreshadowing in there too, that I'll try to remember to explain much later when we actually reach that point.)
> 
> -And then there were two. Two HoS fics, left that is. Apparently I'm starting a countdown now. _Aggression_ coming soon with the wrap-up for the Cheve plotline, shortly to be followed by the series finale _Unbecoming._
> 
> -Also, I made a [Twitter.](https://twitter.com/doctortrekkiefe) Come hang out?


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